Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
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Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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