I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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