...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Your cock deserves a montage
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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