is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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