This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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