What a fucking waste of an outfit
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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