hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
