The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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