forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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