Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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