the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
