The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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