I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
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Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
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I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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