I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
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