hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
