she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
