I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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