Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
