this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Randomize
