Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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