Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
