the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
