im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
