Well douche your snatch and let's go!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My dick has a subreddit
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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