areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
so much tequila, so little girl.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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