It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize