apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
