Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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