K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
