I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
