i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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