just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
