So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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