People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
the liver wants what the liver wants
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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