i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
