dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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