God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The uberlube is also flammable
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
