you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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