Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
