But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
