i just google imaged poop.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
