meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
