how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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