Do you still have your period?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you will always have a special place in my vag
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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