becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
