I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
