Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
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I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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