i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
