You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize