uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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