we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
