remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
