he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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