Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
