trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize