The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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