i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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