I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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