I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
