just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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