she was so not down for the gang bang
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
