Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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