i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
The air taste purple.
Randomize
