you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
