I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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