I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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