put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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