I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
