I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
